all new text post TONIGHT, at 8:30/7:30c
"You’d struggle to pour water out of a boot with the instructions on the heel"
God DAMN thats some Shakespearean shit right there
so when i was 8 i was in an episode of iCarly and even though i’m 16 now and i have a pixie cut my friends still tell everyone that i was in iCarly.
i pushed another child off a bench and stole her sandwich this is my legacy
SHIT WE FOUND HER
WAIT WHAT DOES THAT MEAN
DO YOU HAVE SOME KIND OF HIT LIST
ALL I DID WAS PUSH JADIN OFF A BENCH I SWEAR
one time I had this dream that I logged on to amazon and my account had like negative four trillion dollars because i accidentally bought the city of Paris
welcome to the 12th inning of a college baseball game
Charts from OKCupid, showing how straight women and men rate each other based on ages. For women, the men they find most attractive are roughly their own age. For men, the women they find most attractive are roughly the same age - 20 to 23 - regardless of the age of the man. (538)
Good fucking Christ.
I just love how this movie depicts them as a regular family.
- jesus: i died on the cross for your sins
- me: aint nobody tell u to do that tho